Abstaining
by Goldeneyedwonder32
Summary: Alice has a violent vision of Bella's future and the Cullens consider changing Bella ahead of schedule. Jacob considers war. After their decison Alice has strange visions of a silver-haired vampire and her mate. I need three more reviews for next chap! :
1. Decision

_Edward's POV_

I watched as the sun slowly rose, spreading light throughout the bedroom. The sunlight gently shined against Bella's skin, illuminating her, making her snow white skin glow. I held her in my arms, she was soft, and oh so fragile. She was so breakable, so tiny. As I remembered how clumsy and ungainly Bella was when she walked or tried to dance I mulled over how she could have ever survived nearly nineteen years of life without me to act as her sentinel.

I wondered how such a beautiful and breathtaking person could ever have chosen me, out of all of the people in world. _If you could even count me as a person. _I wondered how such a delicate swan could ever love me, the hideous coveting beast. I had stolen her away. I had snatched her up from real life and pulled her into my own world forever shrouded in shadow, my world that should not exist, my days forever without sun, my twilight. I am inhuman, dead, cold, a thief, a manipulator, a liar, and a murderer. She is innocent.

As I watched her sleep I ached at how perfect she was. My eyes ran up and down her face, taking in her features. Her brown hair that was fanned out behind her and had suggestions of red in it in the sun. Her widow's peak that cut sharply into her smooth and pale forehead. Her wide chocolate eyes that were closed now and her feather duster eyelashes that fluttered as she slept. Her long thin nose and her high and jutting cheekbones. Then finally, her full blood red lips. I reminisced about the feel of her smooth lips against mine and sighed.

With her thin frame curled against me I could imagine no happier place in the world than being right here, with Bella in her bed while she rested. I smiled and was there for a what seemed like a long while.

"Edward," she murmured sweetly in her dreams (I envied her for a moment I wished that I could have sweet dreams of her, too). The sound of her tinkling voice sighing my name never failed to stir me. Indescribable emotions ran through me when I heard it. Those little whispers told the me the whole truth, the entire truth. Bella's murmurings told me everything that I needed to hear. I never grew tired of hearing Bella sing my name or tell me that she loved me as she slept.

She shifted in my arms pressing her feverish chest against my cool one and her thumping heart against my still one. The sound resonated and echoed throughout the room that was so full of her scent. My senses immediately and unavoidably heightened. My pupils dilated, growing larger and taking more light than necessary. I could see straight through her! I could see beneath her nearly translucent skin, I could very clearly see the blood vessels rhythmically working beneath her paper-thin skin. My ears pricked. Her breathing and wildly beating heart filled my ears like an alluring symphony, the sound engulfed me. I could hear the blood swishing through her veins and arteries. And oh! That scent. That lovely scent like a lone luscious passionflower blossoming among spiny cacti in a desert of sand. My backmost teeth rhythmically spurted acidic venom which coated my tongue. My muscles tensed in anticipation.

I imagined bringing my teeth down to her throat and slicing through her like butter. The blood would flow freely and readily, a honeyed waterfall of crimson. I'd consume it all greedily. Isabella's lifeblood would sustain me better than anyone else's, it would make me as strong as I could ever possibly be. Bella wouldn't even realize her death, it would be over so fast. I would drain her until her heart slowed and then finally stopped. She would turn cold and limp in my arms. Forever asleep. Horror enveloped me.

I immediately unwrapped my arms from around her and shot out of her window and to the forest behind her house. Dry sobs poured for my mouth. _What kind of a monster was I? What man wants to kill the woman that he loves? My sweet, sweet Bella! _I trembled and stared at the hands that had been itching to pin Bella beneath me and tear her throat out. I ran those same villainous hands madly through my hair and fell to the fern covered ground. I wallowed in my monstrousness.

"Edward?" Bella's voice called out to me, wondering why she had not woken up in my arms. "Are you still here?" She inquired. Instantly I composed myself. I stood up, shook out my hair, dusted myself off, and put myself at her bedside.

"Morning, love," I said, as if there was not a single trouble in all of the world, "breakfast time for the human."

_Bella's POV_

Edward appeared instantly beside me. In the light that shined in through my window he was beautiful. The sun shined brightly on Edward's alabaster skin, making it glow insanely, shooting rainbows, as if there were tiny diamonds embedded in its surface. His always windswept copper hair framed his statuesque face perfectly. Huge dark golden eyes stared back at me, glinting mischievously like a puppy beckoning for play. In his tight white t-shirt I could see the outline of each and every one of his lean muscles perfectly. He grinned crookedly at my doe-eyed expression, I guessed that he heard my heart speed up.

Suddenly he was on top of me in the bed.

"Cat got you tongue, love?" Edward whispered huskily, his cool breath tickling my ear. I was going to spontaneously combust. He held me in his arms securely, there was no chance that I could escape his firm hold. Edward laughed gently and put his nose to my neck, inhaling deeply, and then sighing at the scent. His cold nose gently nudging at the nape of my neck caused me to shudder. This cool tickling caused me to squirm against him and he groaned softly. He kissed my neck gently making his way up to my cheek. But that wasn't enough, it was never enough. When his lips met mine I bit down on his lower lip with my teeth, trying to hold him there. His lip felt like a cold stone in my mouth. Edward's breath caught in his throat. Unexpectedly and to my blissful surprise Edward began to attack me with his tongue.

His lips crashed against mine, his kisses were wild and almost pleading. I moaned helplessly in his arms as out tongues waged war, shooting electricity through my body whenever they touched. I threw my arms desperately around him and entwined my fingers in his hair, trying to pull him closer. Edward complied to my wishes and pressed himself roughly against me. My face burned at the feel out Edward through his clothes. Edward wrapped my leg around his waist and ran his hand maddeningly slow up and down it. He slowly and methodically grinded against me, I whimpered my pleasure.

Edward's mouth roamed, sucking, biting, and kissing my neck, slowly making his way lower. I gasped when his hand made its way up my stomach and gently fondled my breast. This was _not _like him. I arched my back into him and welcomed the change.

_"Edward, Edward, Edward,"_ I sighed

In one swift movement Edward ripped my pajama shirt from my body and kissed my breast. My sharp yelp seemed to wake him out of whatever trance he had been in.

Edward looked at my naked chest in surprise, he had not even realized removing my shirt. When he looked for it and saw it torn on floor his brow furrowed. To my disappointment Edward looked at me worriedly and pulled my comforter around me to cover me up. He got up out of the bed and sat in the rocking chair at the other side of my room. He buried his face in his hands and said:

_"Damn it, Bella, damn it, damn it, damn it."_

His frustration very nearly brought me to tears.

_Edward POV_

I wanted to be close to her so badly and I couldn't. For the first time in my existence I found myself hoping for Bella's transformation. I found myself wishing for the damned transformation to hurry up and get here. This was an old argument, an old fight.

"I don't know what more to say, Bella."

"I know," she sounded close to tears.

"We've gone over this so many times before."

"I know. I'm sorry for pushing you."

I wanted to say that it wasn't her fault and that I was the one to blame, but we had had this conversation so many times before that I didn't bother. _Can a vampire grow weary?_ I walked back over to her, hugged her gently, kissed her softly, and ran my hand through her hair. I lifted her up and muttered, 'breakfast' before dashing down the stairs and into my kitchen. A familiar scent met my nose. A girl even smaller than Bella was already preparing eggs and bacon. She had short with inky black hair that fell around her elvish face in chunks. Her eyes were wide and the same golden shade as mine, her skin an identical marble complexion. Alice.

_Alice's POV_

"I left the others messages. Rosailie, Jasper and Emmet'll be here soon, but Carlisle and Esme are out hunting," I told Bella and Edward. I noticed that Bella was not wearing a shirt. Hmm. "How do you like your eggs, Bella?" I asked her.

"Er… fried." Bella said before asking, "what the hell are you doing here?" Edward stopped me before I was able to speak.

"This is _not _the time for this," he said. Stupid mind reader, I shot him a bunch of mean and nasty thoughts. He was really beginning to annoy me. I snarled angrily in his direction. Bella's heart raced and she jumped up.

"What is going on?" I considered telling her now despite Edward's warning (it had been so horrific… so much blood) but I changed my mind.

"Like Edward said, 'this is _not _the time'. The others need to be here for this."

_Bella's POV_

This whole 'let's not tell Bella what's going on to protect her and accidentally hurt her even more' business is beginning to bore me. How many times must I go through this? I was trying very hard not to scream. I folded my arms, pouted, and tapped my foot impatiently. Edward stood stone-stiff against a wall and waited while Alice flipped eggs.

There was a burst of cold air when the front door flew open. _The Cullens had made copies of the keys to my house? _Pale-haired Jasper, blonde-haired Rosalie, and Emmett (black curls and all) strode gracefully into the kitchen.

Emmett swung me around in a circle and chuckled softly as I tottered when he let go. He looked over at Alice cooking eggs and snorted before muttering 'human food'. Then Emmett looked me up and down and broke into shouts of laughter.

"Looks like Edward and Bella have been naaa-ughty!" He said in response to the bed sheet wrapped around my otherwise naked chest. I hadn't remembered to put on a new shirt. I blushed darkly as even Rosalie began to titter.

"There is _nothing_ funny about this," Jasper said seriously, "Bella, we've reached an ultimatum.


	2. Rupture

-1_Jasper's POV_

"_We've reached an ultimatum_," I said quietly. Edward's expression was gaunt and hopeless. He looked a mess. His very aura was frustrating me, I could taste his anguish. So much sexual frustration and worry is not good for a vampire, not good at all.

Edward was failing… miserably. He was losing his fight with temptation. My once strong, unshakeable, and unmovable brother was being toyed with by a 5'4 human girl. Let me add that she is a pixie, almost as tiny as Alice at 110 lbs. And only 19. Mind you, Edward was born in 1901. I would have laughed if the situation were not so grave. My lion of a brother was useless against this Bella creature.

"We have decided that Bella… should be changed sooner than the wedding," I announced. I felt a surge of anger from Edward rush into me and fill me with bubbling fury. I ignored it. "It is the most reasonable thing to do. The most sensible, the most convenient." More rage from Edward. No matter what Edward said, changing Bella now _was _much more strategic. Emmett looked somber, while Rosalie pretended none of us existed while coiling the ends of her hair around her finger. Alice shifted next to me. Her worry stabbed me in the sides like pins. I slid my hand up Alice's back and gently eased and pushed away her strife.

"Edward, there's no need to act rash," Alice said firmly. I guessed that she had foreseen Edward doing something such as smashing the microwave or crumpling the refrigerator into a ball. "Bella will be safer if we change her soon. A vision as sure as the one that I had should not be ignored."

"But your visions are not resolute," Edward replied. "You've made mistakes before." Alice rolled her eyes.

"That was when the visions were blurry or had multiple outcomes. This one was clear as day and had only two possible endings. The first was of you ripping Bella apart…." Alice's pain at the idea washed over me, "and the other was of you leaving her bedroom and hiding the woods." Edward looked ashamed, it was obvious that he was replaying the scenes from both his memories and Alice's mind in his head.

"So great!" Emmett said happily. "We change Bella now, get it over with, and then party!" Rosalie did not hesitate to reach up and slap Emmett across the head.

"Actually," I said, "we were planning on waiting for Carlisle and Esme. We didn't see that Edward was fit to actually bite Bella, we thought that Carlisle should do it instead…." I was shocked to hear Bella begin to yell at me.

"_NO_, NO, NO, NO, NO! No one, absolutely no one, is going to change me, except for Edward!" Bella screamed. We stood in awkward silence. Edward raised an eyebrow at Bella's sudden outburst. I immediately began to work at unwinding her nerves.

"_O-kay_, then we'll compromise," Alice started, "you'll have to be changed early, but Edward can do it."

"So… _I_ don't get any say in this?" Edward asked. At once Emmett, Alice,

and myself shouted:

"NO!"

_Rosalie's POV_

This Bella game is beginning to irk me. I watched as they joked and lightly discussed taking this silly girl's life away. If I had the chances that Bella had, I'd leave Edward, get married, and have children. I would live my life as a human, not waste it on this limbo of a life. Eternal damnation in exchange for true love is not a good bargain but, that is just in my humble opinion. She is a little fool. Miss Isabella Swan does not have any idea what she wants. How could she ever know what she'll want in twenty years if she doesn't give herself the chance? God, I wish that I could be in her shoes. Bella is not choosing right!

Bella is the living definition of dunderhead.

I could barely watch as they fought and argued as if she were nothing but a piece of meat. I decided that it would be best if I did not contribute, if I did not speak. Edward already hates me enough and Bella is afraid enough of me.

"How am I going to explain this to Charlie?" Bella cried. "How will he cope with losing me _before _the wedding?"

"We'll carry out the same plan as before. You and Edward will die in a car crash, or go missing, something along those lines." Alice stated. I snarled softly at the scheme. Emmett wrapped a thick and burly arm around me and squeezed.

"What about the wolves? Won't they be mad?" Bella asked. _Enough of that damned Jacob! She's hurting Edward enough by __**existing**__, she has to go and love an idiot werewolf, too! _

"That could be a problem," said Edward quietly.

"I'll have to tell Jacob, I'll have to explain things to him," Bella said, "he said before that he doesn't care if we leave Forks, he'll search for me anyway. I know that he agreed to go along with our plans for me but, I think that changing me before the wedding will push him over the edge. We could start a war." Everyone nodded in agreement. I scoffed. We never had to worry about a war _before_ she'd arrived.

"Maybe you should… call him," Edward eyes were downcast and he was twirling his fingers around one another. Did Bella realize how selfish that she was?

"I'll have to let him know," said Bella faintly, "it'll rip him to pieces but I'll have to."

_Little did she know that she was not only tearing Jacob to pieces, but had put a rupture in my dear brother Edward's heart as well. _

_Bella's POV_

Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, and Emmett were gone now. It was just me and Edward, alone. He was quiet, with his jaw set, and his mouth a taut line.

"You can use my cell phone," he said firmly. I nodded and took the tiny silver phone from him. I flipped it open, took a deep breath, and dialed Jacob's number.

_Jacob's POV_

I jumped up in bed and hit my head on my nightstand when my phone begin to ring. I swore loudly, rubbing my forehead, and picked up my cellphone. Quinn had set up Bella's contact to play 'Here Comes the Bride' whenever she called, _his_ idea of a joke. _I am going to pulverize that little bastard when I see him again._ I flipped open the phone and pressed SEND.

"Hello, Jacob?" Uh-oh, she was going to give me some bad news, I could hear it in her voice.

"Yeah, Bells?"

"There's been a change in plans."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that Edward is going to have to change me… early."

"WHAT?" I was trembling now, my entire being was beginning to fall apart. I was shifting, morphing, but I fought the wolf and held myself together. "WHY? Why, why, why, why, why?"

"It's a long story."

"Explain." God, this girl could be annoying when she wanted to!

"No biggie, Alice had some visions and we decided it would be best to change me sooner." _No biggie?_

"How soon?"

"Er….'

"That soon. I see. You know that I can't let you do this right?"

"What? But you said before-."

"Forget what I said. I love you and I won't let this happen."

"Jake you can't-." I twisted the phone shut with a sharp snap. I had been counting on having more time to convince her that she didn't need to die for love. I had only one choice now. _I'd have to fight for Bella even if it killed me. _


	3. Realization

-1Bella's POV

Edward sat stiffly in front of the television while watching the news. I could tell that he wasn't really taking the newscaster's drone in, that he was not registering what he was seeing. Edward clearly had a lot on his mind. He sat oddly on the couch, as stiff as a board. It worried me that he was troubled, but it also infuriated me. Why was he leaving me in the dark? Why wasn't he telling me how he was feeling? Why wouldn't he voice his opinion or even try to _discuss _things with me?

Did he think that I was a little kid? Did he feel that I wouldn't be able to handle the truth? Did he think that I hadn't noticed his and Alice's little discussion? I had learned to examine situations more carefully. I noticed their nuances, emotions, and some of their secrets, even if _they_ didn't realize that I did.

It had been easy to spot Edward and Alice. They were still as statues for only seconds, but Jasper's concerned glance at the two of them confirmed my fears. Using only their minds they had been discussing Alice's new vision. There was something that they were not telling me… _again. _

Hadn't they learned that keeping things from me only made me more curious? that it only made me more keen to poke my nose where it did not belong? Firstly, there was Edward himself. Had Edward not hinted at being something more sinister those first days we met, I might had never questioned him further and we might not be engaged right now. I might have never looked up vampires online and I might have never tricked Jacob into telling me the age old tale of the _cold ones. _Then there was James. Keeping me misinformed of their plans only managed to nearly get me killed. And then there was Edward leaving me! _He lied. _He told me that he didn't love me anymore! I jumped off of a cliff in response.

_When would they learn?_

I walked over to couch and eased next to Edward. I slid my arms around his waist. He stiffened even more, if that was possible. I nuzzled my chin against his shoulder. He looked down at me and frowned.

"You're up to something, Bella," Edward said inflexibly. I didn't respond. I merely shook my head and continued by running my nose across his neck. I pressed myself against him and kissed his cool marble cheek. Edward couldn't help but relax in my grip. He turned to face me and circled his arms around me. Edward smiled but his eyes gazed at me a little too hard. Beneath Edward's stoic exterior his emotions were brewing.

I kissed him very softly on the mouth, trying to behave myself. I rested myself against Edward and let him hold me in his arms. I lifted the remote from the coffee table beside the sofa and pressed the POWER button. The television screen turned blank. I laid there for awhile, biding my time. Then I pounced.

"Edward is there something wrong?" He glared darkly at me. "Edward?" He shook his head. "Edward? Answer me." I got no reply from him, instead he put his nose to my hair and deeply inhaled.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered sultrily. My heart beat immediately sped up and I was putty in his arms. _Hey, I'm only human. _Edward's arms were wrapped around me more securely and he began to trail kisses up my arms, my neck, and to my cheeks-.

"No, Edward," I tried to say firmly but I only managed to whine quietly. He nipped me gently on the ear and I sighed in response. I tried to shake away the icy haze that was clouding my mind to no avail. I found myself giving up. Edward grinned my favorite crooked grin as he turned me to face him. He laid down on the couch and placed me on top of him. I kissed him gently on the lips again and again.

"Edward," I said between kisses, "please tell me what's going on."

"Huh?" Edward was surprised that I had still even remembered to ask. His eyes widened as I straddled his hips and sat over him with my hands placed on either side of his head.

_That's right, Edward, I'm using my secret weapon. _

"_Please_?" I put emphasis on the word and tried my best to look pleading. "All I want to know is what's going on… I love you so much, Edward, so, so much and you can't even tell me one little thing, one teeny tiny thing." I lowered my head down to Edward's as if I were about to kiss him, then when we were millimeters apart, I coyly swung my mouth away from his slightly parted marble lips, kissing and biting at his neck. Edward closed his eyes and purred. _His little plan to seduce me into forgetfulness has backfired! _I thought gleefully. I ran my tongue along his cool skin. He tasted like heaven.

"Bella," Edward whispered my name under his breath like a prayer.

"Yes?" I asked innocently.

"How am I- how am I going to talk with you if do _that_?" Edward let out a joyful little snarl as I flicked his earlobe with my tongue.

"What?" I asked, feigning stupidity. He groaned and I knew that I had him cornered.

"Get off of me Bella."

"Huh?" I was close to laughter now.

"Off," Edward said menacingly. His dark amber eyes pierced my own like razors. I immediately crawled out of his lap and sat beside him on the couch. He was still lying face up and was breathing a _little_ hard.

"You do not have do _that _to get me to tell you things, Bella."

"Yes, Edward, I do. You never tell me anything."

"So you noticed me and Alice talking earlier." Edward was not asking a question, he was making a statement. I nodded.

"You are _too _damn perceptive, Bella." He said gruffly. I smiled at him widely.

"I know."

_Edward's POV _

Bella smiled at me hugely as we sat next to each other on the couch. She thought that she was clever, so smart… and well, she was. How her human eyes and reflexes had managed to catch the second long conversation between myself and Alice, I didn't know. As I watched her grin girlishly at me I realized that she would make a more powerful vampire than I could ever comprehend. The image of her hunting and fighting alongside me, and-. How do I say this? The idea turned me on. A lot.

Bella casually ran her hands through her hair, twisting her thick mahogany locks over her shoulder. A small puff of air tossed her scent in my direction. Did she know how much her every movement made me want to ravish her on the spot? Did she know how much her every word and action threatened to push me over the edge? _O! she doth teach the torches to burn bright. _

I figured that I might as well tell Bella everything that I knew. She would definitely find out from Alice or maybe even Jasper, later.

"Bella, Alice's vision was not only of what she said that she saw."

"I know that, Edward."

"She saw you-."

"Yes?"

"Having a battle with another vampire."

"WHAT? You mean, like, actually fighting? ME, _duking it out _with a vampire? Wait, doesn't that mean that I was a VAMPIRE, too!" _Duking it out? _I nodded at Bella grimly.

"It was quite vicious… and it wasn't going well."

"Oh." Bella looked down at her hands. She seemed disappointed. "Was I fighting another _girl _vampire?" I nodded.

"She is a strange one. Rarely will you find a vampire with any pigment left in them, and yet, her skin is caramel in color. She was also young when she was changed. I'd guess she was seventeen or sixteen when she was bitten but, her hair is silver."

"Do those things really matter?" Bella asked me.

"When you are a vampire you must take each and every factor into consideration. Carlisle, Esme, my siblings, and myself have golden or black eyes instead of the traditional red. It is something that seems small and might be overlooked, but this tiny trait tells so much about us. It shows that we are civilized and that we do not feed on humans. So yes, Bella, those things do matter, a lot."

"What color were her eyes, then."

"Silver." In reaction to my response Bella's face seemed to cave in on itself. She looked as if she were about to fall apart. I quickly hugged her and ran my hands through her hair.

"What's wrong, my sweet?"

"What does this mean? Am I going to die Edward?"

"No, of course not, you little featherhead!" I joked lightly. I kissed her warm salty tears away. I laughed gently and lifted her into my lap. I smiled at her but in reality I did not know. _I really did not know. _

_Bella's POV_

If I were mortally wounded and lying in a pool of my own blood at Edward's side and asked him if I was dying, I know for a fact that his answer would be a quick and smooth 'no'. If I were diagnosed with some sort of horrible disease that even the transformation could not cure, and I was on my deathbed, Edward's answer for me would _still_ be 'no'. I know that he is lying to me. I know that there is a strong possibility that my time with Edward will cut short by this _silver haired, silver eyed _vampiressAnd I also know that Edward thinks that she is beautiful. The look in his eyes when he told me the color of her eyes was so deep and stormy, it was the look that he had whenever she spoke about _me_. Even if he was not aware of it yet, Edward was in love with this mystery vampire. I would kill her when I saw her. As the line from _Wuthering Heights _goes; _terror made me cruel_….


End file.
